How do you know you are the gender you are without referencing body parts or cultural stereotypes? So, without saying “I know I am a man because I like to fix things or I know I am a woman because I like to cook”. How do you know you are gender you are?
It isn’t as easy as we like to think. So often what we associate with gender comes from what society tells us about gender. This relationship can start even before we are born. What’s probably the most common question people ask about babies? Is it a boy or girl?
Is it a boy or a girl? – a determination which is made solely based on someone looking at body parts and then that determination becomes the foundation for what people buy for the child, how that child is treated, and the future possibilities of that child for the rest of the child’s life. The child’s entire life trajectory is set based on the moment someone declares it’s a boy or it’s a girl. Toys, clothes, expectations, jobs, they are all based on what is marked on the birth certificate and presumed to be a person’s gender regardless of whether or not what goes on the birth certificate matches how the individual feels about their gender, what they like, what they want to do, and who they are. Everyone is simply supposed to conform – boys are supposed to be boys and girls are supposed to be girls, right?
And then there is Jesus. When he is born, we are told he is a boy. According to the Gospel of Luke: And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him bands of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn. (Luke 2:7).
By the time he begins his ministry, however, he hasn’t quite conformed to the patriarchal norms of his time. He should, after all, have been married and had children by that point in his life and there is no indication that this has happened. Instead, we find him surrounding himself with men. There are women too, but we don’t hear much about them. We don’t get a lot of details about the relationships here and perhaps we don’t want to know. We don’t want to think about Jesus as other than a man and yet we also don’t want to think about him as being sexual. There is something comforting in thinking about him as being a celibate, holy man, beyond our understanding.
Those who explore Queer Theology, however, encourage questions about the gender and sexuality of Jesus and his relationships to those around him simply because in asking these questions we create space for conversation about gender and sexual diversity. Queer Theology is about identity. It recognises that every person brings their unique selves, their stories, their experiences into the conversation. Imagine what a teen mother might bring to a conversation about the Christmas story or how someone who has physical disabilities might understand the crucifixion or what someone whose gender is fluid, who sees themselves as both male and female might bring to a conversation about the Trinity.
Imagine what could be learned when we open ourselves to the gifts and wisdom of other perspectives on faith, God, and life. How do diverse individuals invite us to reflect more deeply about our own identities, our relationships and consider the things we might otherwise take for granted?
Jesus said, "Whoever welcomes you welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me.
To embrace Jesus as ambiguous enables us to embrace the ambiguity of others and encourages us embrace the gifts of the wonderfully diverse individuals God creates. Whoever you are. However you have come here. Whoever you are in this world. You are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image and likeness of God. We are blessed when we look with wonder and hope at whatever gifts each and every person chooses to share: Queer, Trans, cis, het, and everything in between.
May we welcome everyone trusting that in doing so we are welcoming the one who has shown us the way and points us to the one who loves and created us all. This we pray as we sing: God of Many Faces